let me tell you something - Cleopatra Odi

poetry ☆

poetry ☆

I’ve felt these feelings before

hushed silenced and kept from myself

told to dial it back

told to mute

told to change

I’ve been alone before

I’ve loved until pain

and loved as warfare began

I am so used to shapeshifting into

a version of me that you want

To hear you beg for a soul that is not mine

I’ve been alone before

this feeling is so familiar

on my knees asking you please

Please see me

My words fell/fall on deaf ears

I am at my core a sinner

greedy to find a soul who sees me

lusting after an image of myself that is regulated

prideful over the times I found the answer

envious of those who are loved for themself

gluttonously swallowing your resentment of me

angry over a spirit that follows me

lazily wiping the blood of my wrists

off my soul

off my heart

I’ve been alone before

With the only left being me

Then again

I have always been there

when the lover despised me

when the person abandoned me

when the guardian neglected me

when the friend ignored me

I was always

there

Oh wait

Maybe I’m not so alone after all

---

cleopatra is an appalachian+ geechee femme/artist/womanist that uses essays and poetry to express divinity and self agency. she is passionate about education, food justice, mental health + trans liberation. Professionally, in 2018, cleopatra left the US to study urban planning + sustainability in Tokyo and South Korea and worked over there as an educator. She currently works as sustainability + community defense manager and hopes to work as a philanthropic giving director in the near future.