an ode to the eaters — Amreen Rentia
poetry ☆
poetry ☆
skin to bone
your blood in my veins is all i need to suffer this life. knowing that you are here- –in me- i–it is a great comfort in my body. that you are here with me. that you are here in me.
i met you in the fields of texas, so beautifully then. we traveled to colorado in your truck and i swore i saw the sun and moon and the stars in your eyes. you shone too bright and i wondered there for a moment if i was dead too. for only the dead can see the heaven that you embodied. i was starving for so long that i never realized that it was you i was craving all this time. your eternal bride. show me your palm and i will tell you how much you suffered. i was with you when we laid by the creek- –baptized in our love and blood. i swore i love you. you swore you would devour me. i responded that love is meant to be devoured-– skin to bone. i would gladly cut in my scald chest, above my breast, and break my ribs to pull my heart out for you. you can eat it, it’ll be alright. i’ll willingly eat yours. there is nothing that i can do to stop this feeling- –infecting my bones and turning my blood cells against every signal my brain sends stop. i stood by the creek, nothing but a cut up nightgown- –satin white to cover my brown skin. my ancestor would be disappointed for me to fall in love––crude, hot, wet, love. they would frown at the sin. how can i sin when i did not wish to? punish me, if so be it then. the love that devours me whole and leaves nothing but my ashes. why? why not. the sad truth is that i would do it over and over and over again. to feel the blade of the grass cutting into my skin as i stare at the stars above my head through the branches of the willow trees. i couldn’t stomach food, but i would stomach you. i would look for you. our bones were met to be buried in the same six foot hand dug grave. i’ll wake up and see you beside me in the dirt, and there for a second, i’ll find peace. the peace i couldn’t, wouldn’t find in california. the peace that cut me open and slithered inside, refusing to birth through me, instead creating a home in me as you came in. nature now devours us.
Amreen Rentia is a graduate student at California State University, Fullerton pursuing a Master’s degree in English. Her interest lies in Victorian Feminism with a focus on the Brontë novels, particularly with Jane Eyre. She also has interests in creative writing and poetry.
